We find our heroine the next morning a little worse for wear after staying up til the early hours with the matriarch of the family ,formally known as The Bes, retelling stories of old, in former times in the cold harsh city of Edinburgh where they spent many a night seeking out pubs that would sell alcohol til morning.
During that eve they also laid traps and screamed ,well mostly The Bes , as they tried in vain to catch one of the family mice that had escaped 3 weeks ago and gone feral ,but returned when it smelled newly arrived English blood!
With the morning newly arrived and we mean quite literally minutes after sunrise, or so it felt ,the house awoke and started preparations for the quasi oz camping /boathouse experience. It took a fair amount of time to feed the menagerie which consisted of 5 mice,2 dogs,1 horse,4 ponies,4 chucks.1 rabbit ,2 fish of unknown origin and one Vietnamese fighting fish which lived in a wine glass on the side of the kitchen counter. " Surely that's cruel " our tender hearted mother asked of the Large animal vet friend , " No they don't do much but lie on their side anyway "replied The Bes ,"And I only acquired it cos my friend got bored with it"
As the morning wore on more and more equipment appeared and was squeezed into the over burdened vehicles ;3 very complicated looking fishing rods with accompanying tackle box, a billy ( or to the unaussie amongst us a tin which u boil water in),sleeping bags, more food then you would need to feed a city, more alcohol than you would need to fill an ocean,(o.k maybe our heroine at this point was getting a little carried away but artistic licence and all that ) and finally a huge motor boat that could be used for carrying away evidence . The group of then 6 bright eyed children were pushed into the car with a last cry of " Do you think we need the anti venom"from the Bes, sending our brave mother into the car in a deep swoon from shock or to get away from the myriad of sucking,biting,screaming and kicking flies that were now attacking her white softly dappled flesh and i kid you not!
A short while later the adventurers emerged from the bush to find themselves driving along the bank of the Might yet murky but still pretty awesome Murray river . Their large houseboat bobbed tranquilly ( for a time anyway) along the shores nestled amongst the Gum trees and looking pristine ( for a time anyway ) .
They quietly emerged from the car and carefully navigated their way down to the boat well at least the adults in the party did whilst our now gone native children screamed and ran creating a dust bowl in their wake in their eagerness to explore and probably bag the best bedroom on the vessel.
What a beautiful sight met their eyes .An oven,fridge ,hot shower ,table and chairs .a sofa ,more luxury then the Melbournian set had been used to in their bare rental !! Even a deck on which to sunbathe and partake of glorious sunsets (hopefully not sunrises) as they drank down their G and T's.What more could they ask for.
A skipper turned up an hour later to drive their boat down the treacherous river as the current and high sandbanks made steering a course in this part of the season a skilled process. " Nah you don't need to worry too much about the snakes in this season although you do get em in the water and we do have 3 of the deadliest snakes in the world in this spot. Yeah we have a few people die on the river round here regularly from jumping in or being sucked down by the current forming whirlpools that even a grown man cant swim out of " were just some of the cheery lines The Captain told the now very pale mother as she clutched her G and T tightly in her shaking hands ." We'll put her in this spot so you can have a big fire and the kids can play on the sandbank " . After showing the elder members of the crew how the various parts of the boat worked, like the generator and life jacket storage area, the salty sea Captain then turned to show the workings of the toilet only to interrupt our now shaky mother during mid seating, abruptly apologising at our shocked mother's face as she reached for the door realising the lock was indeed broken and would remain so for the whole of the stay.
With a final reminder to throw back the fish unless they are 1/2 metre long our Captain disembarked leaving the families to pick up what was left of the mother off the bathroom floor and wedge her into a camping seat to admire the very fine view .
The children in the meantime had found the delights of swimming in the river wearing life jackets and wading through what to all intent purposes looked like Quicksand and with nearly the same properties. The mother instead enjoyed the delights of not having to tell the children to stop bickering and watching the amazing colourful bird life such as Gelars ,grey parrots with beautiful pink breasts flying in flocks over the Gum trees.Little did she know what was waiting in store for her.................
During that eve they also laid traps and screamed ,well mostly The Bes , as they tried in vain to catch one of the family mice that had escaped 3 weeks ago and gone feral ,but returned when it smelled newly arrived English blood!
With the morning newly arrived and we mean quite literally minutes after sunrise, or so it felt ,the house awoke and started preparations for the quasi oz camping /boathouse experience. It took a fair amount of time to feed the menagerie which consisted of 5 mice,2 dogs,1 horse,4 ponies,4 chucks.1 rabbit ,2 fish of unknown origin and one Vietnamese fighting fish which lived in a wine glass on the side of the kitchen counter. " Surely that's cruel " our tender hearted mother asked of the Large animal vet friend , " No they don't do much but lie on their side anyway "replied The Bes ,"And I only acquired it cos my friend got bored with it"
As the morning wore on more and more equipment appeared and was squeezed into the over burdened vehicles ;3 very complicated looking fishing rods with accompanying tackle box, a billy ( or to the unaussie amongst us a tin which u boil water in),sleeping bags, more food then you would need to feed a city, more alcohol than you would need to fill an ocean,(o.k maybe our heroine at this point was getting a little carried away but artistic licence and all that ) and finally a huge motor boat that could be used for carrying away evidence . The group of then 6 bright eyed children were pushed into the car with a last cry of " Do you think we need the anti venom"from the Bes, sending our brave mother into the car in a deep swoon from shock or to get away from the myriad of sucking,biting,screaming and kicking flies that were now attacking her white softly dappled flesh and i kid you not!
A short while later the adventurers emerged from the bush to find themselves driving along the bank of the Might yet murky but still pretty awesome Murray river . Their large houseboat bobbed tranquilly ( for a time anyway) along the shores nestled amongst the Gum trees and looking pristine ( for a time anyway ) .
They quietly emerged from the car and carefully navigated their way down to the boat well at least the adults in the party did whilst our now gone native children screamed and ran creating a dust bowl in their wake in their eagerness to explore and probably bag the best bedroom on the vessel.
What a beautiful sight met their eyes .An oven,fridge ,hot shower ,table and chairs .a sofa ,more luxury then the Melbournian set had been used to in their bare rental !! Even a deck on which to sunbathe and partake of glorious sunsets (hopefully not sunrises) as they drank down their G and T's.What more could they ask for.
A skipper turned up an hour later to drive their boat down the treacherous river as the current and high sandbanks made steering a course in this part of the season a skilled process. " Nah you don't need to worry too much about the snakes in this season although you do get em in the water and we do have 3 of the deadliest snakes in the world in this spot. Yeah we have a few people die on the river round here regularly from jumping in or being sucked down by the current forming whirlpools that even a grown man cant swim out of " were just some of the cheery lines The Captain told the now very pale mother as she clutched her G and T tightly in her shaking hands ." We'll put her in this spot so you can have a big fire and the kids can play on the sandbank " . After showing the elder members of the crew how the various parts of the boat worked, like the generator and life jacket storage area, the salty sea Captain then turned to show the workings of the toilet only to interrupt our now shaky mother during mid seating, abruptly apologising at our shocked mother's face as she reached for the door realising the lock was indeed broken and would remain so for the whole of the stay.
With a final reminder to throw back the fish unless they are 1/2 metre long our Captain disembarked leaving the families to pick up what was left of the mother off the bathroom floor and wedge her into a camping seat to admire the very fine view .
The children in the meantime had found the delights of swimming in the river wearing life jackets and wading through what to all intent purposes looked like Quicksand and with nearly the same properties. The mother instead enjoyed the delights of not having to tell the children to stop bickering and watching the amazing colourful bird life such as Gelars ,grey parrots with beautiful pink breasts flying in flocks over the Gum trees.Little did she know what was waiting in store for her.................
That picture? - The Hiils Have Eyes, or maybe Deliverance
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