Now before you go tearing around the house in distress thinking Oh no the Mungins have Swine Fever , I shall swiftly allay these fears and report the title refers to a food substance. The food substance in question seems to be a much loved ( and is quickly becoming so by us too) Aussie patisserie otherwise known as Vanilla slice. Now maybe some of you Brits will have partaken of this treat as youngsters but as we came from a Celtic background Mr.Kiplings were the order of the day usually in the form of Fondant French Fancies, which i still love !
We were first introduced to the " Vanilla Slice" whilst holidaying on the houseboat and these had come lovingly made by our host and her friend .
So when I asked the children today what they would like for a treat before swim school they replied "Vanilla Slice". Hohum I thought . Will I be able to buy these in the 6 bakeries we have in our stretch of shops called Middle Brighton ( I haven't counted the restaurants and cafes as yet as I am still making my way down these!)? Anyway I digress , a lot! So I wander down the street and enter the first bakers and spot straight away the vanilla slice, although these are iced on the top in pink and I haven't had any like these thus far . I order 2 thinking well they are for the kids and if the other bakers don't have any I shall have to come back and I am the only person in the shop at 9am and I have been staring at the cakes for 1/2 hour and if I don't buy something they'll think I've escaped from somewhere!
So i move on and when I come to the next Bakers lo and behold what should I aspy from outside ,as I didn't want to be the only person in the shop again staring at cakes , but vanilla slice in a form I recognised so in I went and bought 2 more !! Well I suppose Grant and me should really have 1 each as well.
Now finally I passed the really posh bakers . They all have pretty nice cakes in the window but this is the one where Grant bought some quiche and a couple of pecan tarts and it cost us 20 quid cos they didn't have any prices on em . Well in the window they had Vanilla slice - fancy style with layers of puff pastry a bit like a meuille Feuille so I thought in for a penny in for a bankers overdraft and went in and ordered 2 more !
At this point I'm beginning to wonder about my line of thinking but as usual a great idea comes to the rescue and that is we will have a Vanilla slice tasting competition and that way we will always know where to buy are Vanilla Slice from (hoping its not gonna be the last bakers as they are double the price of everyone else's.
So finally I go into Brumby's and ask for Vanilla Slice without even looking to see if they have any as I am now convinced everyone sells the stuff. " Do you mean Snot Blocks the woman asks laughing ( she probably spotted I'm foreign" ,"Excuse me I reply," Well that's what we always used to call em in the old days says the lady and we still get the old ones coming in asking for em like that !
Yum yum so now i have 8 Vanilla slices and the name Snot blocks in my head and my stomach is churning and i am thinking what the hell am i gonna do with 15 quids worth of snot block cos there is no way I can get over the mental picture that conjours up .And then I remember they are not for me anyway they are for the kids and Grant .Aaah rescued again!
Wednesday, 29 April 2009
Saturday, 25 April 2009
General Update
Beam Me Up, which I'm sure over the next few weeks will become a worn cliche. Just finished what is unfortunately becoming a very typical Saturday in Melbourne. Despite it being Anzac Day, which is taken very seriously here, we managed to find a local restuarant open for brunch. One linguine and tuna later we went looking for a car, then into the CBD for dinner in the famous Italian enclave of Lygon Street. 2 stubbies of VB, one bottle of Merlot, olives, and a Rigatoni and Italian sausage later we find a Spanish tapas bar for Chouros and a long black. On the way back to the tram, everyone else except for me somehow managed an icecream!! God, get me back on my bike.
In the search for the car we ended up buying a Toyota Corolla. This is exactly the car we needed: quiet, dependable, economical, sensible, dull, brown, civil service like, brown, quite, sensible, probably even a safe purchase. I prefer spending big money on bikes rather than cars but I think we went a bridge too far here. Secretly I wanted some big 4x4 despite horrendous green credentials, and nearly bought a Euro cool SAAB, but everyone here strangely poo'pooed it. Anyway there we go, I've now got a car I can probably hand onto the grandchildren, who if they have any sense won't want it.
On a final note, Caitlin's team, St Kilda have won yet again. Is there no sense in this world!
OK, on a really final note, I've found the truly wonderful world of Skype, and have started video calling a variety of people. Feel free to find and call me on Skype before I go the way of middle aged Italian woman and switch the video picture off.
In the search for the car we ended up buying a Toyota Corolla. This is exactly the car we needed: quiet, dependable, economical, sensible, dull, brown, civil service like, brown, quite, sensible, probably even a safe purchase. I prefer spending big money on bikes rather than cars but I think we went a bridge too far here. Secretly I wanted some big 4x4 despite horrendous green credentials, and nearly bought a Euro cool SAAB, but everyone here strangely poo'pooed it. Anyway there we go, I've now got a car I can probably hand onto the grandchildren, who if they have any sense won't want it.
On a final note, Caitlin's team, St Kilda have won yet again. Is there no sense in this world!
OK, on a really final note, I've found the truly wonderful world of Skype, and have started video calling a variety of people. Feel free to find and call me on Skype before I go the way of middle aged Italian woman and switch the video picture off.
Friday, 24 April 2009
To blog or not to blog
The title refers to the ongoing argument between myself and Sulky as I now like to affectionately call him, to his back anyway. I never seem to get a chance to get onto the computer these days let alone onto the blog site and so have a lot less to talk about then the blogs himself. However I'm not going to let small facts like this stop me !
I went to the shops today to get some fresh supplies and have decided it is time to blog about the fruit!( was actually Friday but see above for reasons I'm now writing!) It's all ripe ,it's all huge and it's cheap. I have to say we now eats grapes by the kilo as can't seem to get enough- no I'm not pregnant! Even managed to get kids to try fresh figs , one wanted more ,the other regurgitated and I shall leave you to decide which child was which.
I also have to say the fish is great here too although at the moment most is new to me and a lot of sampling will be needed before I work out which I like best . Current favourite is Rockling but with Barramundi, Snapper, Marlin, John Dory, Blue Grenadier, Blue Eye and Redfish to name but a few , who knows what will end up on top. Can I also add that you can roll up at the fish and chip shop and choose from the fresh fish (like a fishmongers ) and then decide how you want it i.e they will even just grill it for you.
Personally I like my fish and chip shops in Edinburgh, where it's often quite hard to recognise what fish it started life as as cos of the amount of batter disguising it, and you can usually follow up with a deep fried Mars bar . Oh and don't forget the famous brown sauce. The tomato ketchup here they have put into small plastic conundrums as they don't seem to do sachets. Let's just say that when the kids first asked me how to open these I proceeded to lecture them on the straightforwardness of their appearance only to open them the wrong way up and squeezed ketchup all over my youngest' arm which she found hilarious!
A visit to the doctors was also interesting as here you pay for everything or so it seems to me anyway. The doctor was very sweet even if he did resemble Harold Shipman although the resemblance stopped when he took out his pen and asked the girls what their favourite animal was and then drew a pretty good depiction of these. I shall be expecting similar when I next go for a smear test ! Still we got an appointment within 2 days of phoning and paid only the equivalent of a vet consultation in the Uk!
And for my last observations on Aussie life I would like to take you to the local swim school. Bizarre place ! Basically was made up of 3 pools ! One fairly normal baby pool you'd expect to find in UK , then next one up which was about 10m long and 6 lanes wide divided up into about 6 areas with the areas being changed every 5 minutes, even I didn't know how they decided who was using which bit , and then a 25m length section about 2 lanes wide, the oddest thing I've ever seen ! They also had 1 guy teaching that looked like a grandad and one lad who looked like he should have still been in school with a couple of more conventional teachers around too. Despite all of this there was the usual amount of children crying cos they were scared of the water and parents giving the teachers advice from the sidelines ! Not that much different from the Uk then .
Anyway I shall now return to bed after my secret visit to the blog site in the middle of the night ,having been woken up yet again by possums doing who knows what and hope they have finished and settled down for the night. Shame they don't hibernate in the winter.
I went to the shops today to get some fresh supplies and have decided it is time to blog about the fruit!( was actually Friday but see above for reasons I'm now writing!) It's all ripe ,it's all huge and it's cheap. I have to say we now eats grapes by the kilo as can't seem to get enough- no I'm not pregnant! Even managed to get kids to try fresh figs , one wanted more ,the other regurgitated and I shall leave you to decide which child was which.
I also have to say the fish is great here too although at the moment most is new to me and a lot of sampling will be needed before I work out which I like best . Current favourite is Rockling but with Barramundi, Snapper, Marlin, John Dory, Blue Grenadier, Blue Eye and Redfish to name but a few , who knows what will end up on top. Can I also add that you can roll up at the fish and chip shop and choose from the fresh fish (like a fishmongers ) and then decide how you want it i.e they will even just grill it for you.
Personally I like my fish and chip shops in Edinburgh, where it's often quite hard to recognise what fish it started life as as cos of the amount of batter disguising it, and you can usually follow up with a deep fried Mars bar . Oh and don't forget the famous brown sauce. The tomato ketchup here they have put into small plastic conundrums as they don't seem to do sachets. Let's just say that when the kids first asked me how to open these I proceeded to lecture them on the straightforwardness of their appearance only to open them the wrong way up and squeezed ketchup all over my youngest' arm which she found hilarious!
A visit to the doctors was also interesting as here you pay for everything or so it seems to me anyway. The doctor was very sweet even if he did resemble Harold Shipman although the resemblance stopped when he took out his pen and asked the girls what their favourite animal was and then drew a pretty good depiction of these. I shall be expecting similar when I next go for a smear test ! Still we got an appointment within 2 days of phoning and paid only the equivalent of a vet consultation in the Uk!
And for my last observations on Aussie life I would like to take you to the local swim school. Bizarre place ! Basically was made up of 3 pools ! One fairly normal baby pool you'd expect to find in UK , then next one up which was about 10m long and 6 lanes wide divided up into about 6 areas with the areas being changed every 5 minutes, even I didn't know how they decided who was using which bit , and then a 25m length section about 2 lanes wide, the oddest thing I've ever seen ! They also had 1 guy teaching that looked like a grandad and one lad who looked like he should have still been in school with a couple of more conventional teachers around too. Despite all of this there was the usual amount of children crying cos they were scared of the water and parents giving the teachers advice from the sidelines ! Not that much different from the Uk then .
Anyway I shall now return to bed after my secret visit to the blog site in the middle of the night ,having been woken up yet again by possums doing who knows what and hope they have finished and settled down for the night. Shame they don't hibernate in the winter.
Sunday, 19 April 2009
The beautiful game
So we've been to see our first Aussie Rules game. Caitlin was ecstatic as her team (not exactly a top rank team) have won yet again and are the unlikely leaders of the ladder at this early stage in the season.
I think everyone enjoyed it, despite it lasting over 2.5 hours. Its 4, 20 minute sessions, but with 20 mins at half time, and each quarter lasting in reality about 25-30 minutes the overall time soon racks up. The discrepancy between 20 mins and 25-30 is time out while the ball isn't in play. The game is so fluid and the ball in play so regularly its actually hard to spot the "dead" 5-10 mins. Clearly a key feature of the game is to reduce audience dead time, and any attempt to rub your eyes, never mind go to the loo means there is a chance you've missed something.
The game is odd in the sense that its called Aussie Rules, but its sold very much on its brutal go for it, no rules attitude, yet it needs no less than 9 (yup 9!) officiators for want of a better word. That's one ref, 2 linesman, 2 goal refs (there are 4 goal posts each side and a complex set of rules governing what points you get), and 4 supporting refs wandering the field. Remember with a pitch about 30% bigger than a soccer pitch, no offside rule, and long range kicking being a key skill, the ball can have travelled 150 metres in a few seconds.
The Ethiad Stadium we went to is seen as an "intimate" close to the action kind of place, and we certainly enjoyed. The fans are also generally good natured if a little animated, and typically Aussie blunt at times. The reasonably strict controls on alchohol at matches, and the real family atmosphere (a good 20-30% of fans must be under 12 but are no less fervent) explaining some of this. It'll be interesting in 2 weeks when we go to the MCG. The stadium is twice as big and has 2 big league teams who are both a little on the ropes at the moment.
Finally, and if anyone is interested, Caitlin's team gave the other lot a good drubbing, and the score (which is difficult to follow) was St Kilda Saints 17.9 (111), Fremantle Dockers 4.4 (28).
I think everyone enjoyed it, despite it lasting over 2.5 hours. Its 4, 20 minute sessions, but with 20 mins at half time, and each quarter lasting in reality about 25-30 minutes the overall time soon racks up. The discrepancy between 20 mins and 25-30 is time out while the ball isn't in play. The game is so fluid and the ball in play so regularly its actually hard to spot the "dead" 5-10 mins. Clearly a key feature of the game is to reduce audience dead time, and any attempt to rub your eyes, never mind go to the loo means there is a chance you've missed something.
The game is odd in the sense that its called Aussie Rules, but its sold very much on its brutal go for it, no rules attitude, yet it needs no less than 9 (yup 9!) officiators for want of a better word. That's one ref, 2 linesman, 2 goal refs (there are 4 goal posts each side and a complex set of rules governing what points you get), and 4 supporting refs wandering the field. Remember with a pitch about 30% bigger than a soccer pitch, no offside rule, and long range kicking being a key skill, the ball can have travelled 150 metres in a few seconds.
The Ethiad Stadium we went to is seen as an "intimate" close to the action kind of place, and we certainly enjoyed. The fans are also generally good natured if a little animated, and typically Aussie blunt at times. The reasonably strict controls on alchohol at matches, and the real family atmosphere (a good 20-30% of fans must be under 12 but are no less fervent) explaining some of this. It'll be interesting in 2 weeks when we go to the MCG. The stadium is twice as big and has 2 big league teams who are both a little on the ropes at the moment.
Finally, and if anyone is interested, Caitlin's team gave the other lot a good drubbing, and the score (which is difficult to follow) was St Kilda Saints 17.9 (111), Fremantle Dockers 4.4 (28).
Saturday, 18 April 2009
Grumpy Old Man
I know this is going to come across as middle aged Grumpy Old Man, and is nothing really to do with Australia, but an event today is enouraging me to put pen to paper on my rants about Sat Navs. There are 3 things that really annoy me about these things:
1. People lose any kind of sense or context of where they are. You leave your house in the UK to see friends - wherever, somewhere, it doesn't really matter. 3 hours later: Tom, Emily, Sean, or for the terminally bored John Cleese, or Billy Connolly tell you you've arrived. Unfortunately if I showed you a map of the UK, you'd first say "where is that?", then have a complete inability to point on the map to where you are, or where you've come from.
2. Local knowledge/power is lost. If you're ever in a traffic jam, typically caused by an accident (and lets face it, in the South East of England this is a daily occurrence), you head off the main road for the secret rat run you know, and hey presto, 5 mins later than usual your at your destination, having whizzed over 2 bridges sneering down at the jam on the major road. Nowadays though, everyone types in "Find alternate route", and Tom/Emily/Billy sends everyone to your rat route, creating 2 jams instead of one, and getting you stuck in the process.
3. Finally, and along with a lack of alchohol, the trigger for this rant, the ability for anyone to become a taxi driver. You just roll up for a job in a new place/city, stick the Sat Nav in and you guessed it, Tom/Emily/Billy makes you an instant expert. Unfortunately today the cabbie had no Sat Nav! We gave him directions to a place 8k from where he picked us up, so its not like local knowledge is an issue. 2 minutes later he asks me which choice of 2 routes he should take. I think he is casing me for the extent of my knowledge, in case he wants to take us (on the meter) by the scenic route. However, it turned out to be much worse than that. We ended up driving miles past where we wanted, telling him then where to go, and closer to our ultimate destination having to give him turn by turn instructions. I've only lived in this part of the City for 4 weeks fer chrissakes! Luckily he heard my mutterings in the back and decided to stop the meter about 2/3 of the way through the trip.
Sorry about all this - I'm off for a drink.
1. People lose any kind of sense or context of where they are. You leave your house in the UK to see friends - wherever, somewhere, it doesn't really matter. 3 hours later: Tom, Emily, Sean, or for the terminally bored John Cleese, or Billy Connolly tell you you've arrived. Unfortunately if I showed you a map of the UK, you'd first say "where is that?", then have a complete inability to point on the map to where you are, or where you've come from.
2. Local knowledge/power is lost. If you're ever in a traffic jam, typically caused by an accident (and lets face it, in the South East of England this is a daily occurrence), you head off the main road for the secret rat run you know, and hey presto, 5 mins later than usual your at your destination, having whizzed over 2 bridges sneering down at the jam on the major road. Nowadays though, everyone types in "Find alternate route", and Tom/Emily/Billy sends everyone to your rat route, creating 2 jams instead of one, and getting you stuck in the process.
3. Finally, and along with a lack of alchohol, the trigger for this rant, the ability for anyone to become a taxi driver. You just roll up for a job in a new place/city, stick the Sat Nav in and you guessed it, Tom/Emily/Billy makes you an instant expert. Unfortunately today the cabbie had no Sat Nav! We gave him directions to a place 8k from where he picked us up, so its not like local knowledge is an issue. 2 minutes later he asks me which choice of 2 routes he should take. I think he is casing me for the extent of my knowledge, in case he wants to take us (on the meter) by the scenic route. However, it turned out to be much worse than that. We ended up driving miles past where we wanted, telling him then where to go, and closer to our ultimate destination having to give him turn by turn instructions. I've only lived in this part of the City for 4 weeks fer chrissakes! Luckily he heard my mutterings in the back and decided to stop the meter about 2/3 of the way through the trip.
Sorry about all this - I'm off for a drink.
Friday, 17 April 2009
The XXXY Files
Case number 118 118- This case intrigued me from the minute I moved into the new house in Brighton. Sulky had gone off to his plush hotel in Sydney,leaving me Mouldy alone with the 2 children "setting up home" on our airbeds and 1 blanket .It was only when I attempted to go to sleep that night the strange sounds began to penetrate the house .
The noises resembled the sounds of a cat burglar trying to enter the house first trying the roof and next the windows. My eldest and me spent a very restless night only finally falling asleep when we decided that the burglars had spent so long casing the joint that they must have decided there was nothing worth stealing.
Sulky of course was having none of it that is until he had to spend a weekend on his own whilst we were on the houseboat. Let's just say he now believed the noises were more of a supernatural variety thus explaining his reluctance to go out and see what the cause of the sounds were and instead spending the nights ' hiding under the duvets' yes we had indeed now got duvets since Sulky was back, and hoping for the speedy return of Mouldy whom he hoped would keep him safe at night .
The final solving of the case came 2 nights ago when hearing an almighty crash on the roof, both of us ventured outside with a flashlight only to discover a possum looking back with a "What's your problem expression on it's now not so cute face"
Despite the solving of this case it didn't stop the pair of us from being woken up last night with what sounded like an Evander Hollyfield and Mike Tyson rematch done with possums ,from going on above our bedroom roof only ending in a knockout by one as the now unconscious possum slid down our glass skylight and the other did a lap of victory at top speed across the roof !!!
Any of our visitors in the autumn should take heed of this blog before booking flights!
Case number =666. This case started very innocuously as we sat enjoying lunch on Hampton street a few weekends ago .I say enjoy but alas both kids were in hyper mode and they had brought wheels. Constant apologies were the order of the day until one elderly couple began to make conversation . It started with the introductions of this seemingly normal couple ,"Hi I'm Steve and this is my wife Anne". On discussing holidays they proceeded on giving us a long list of sites we should see in Queensland and nearby also mentioning a hotel we should look at in Cairns. It was only on finishing the conversation that we both realised we would be in Sydney the following Easter weekend . " Wouldn't it be funny if we bumped into each other " I remarked innocently ,not realising the eerie occurrences that were about to ensue.
So after arriving in Sydney day 2 we decided to visit Manly Beach by ferry from the Circular Quay. It was packed but by some strange coincidence whom should we see on the way back but the same Steve and Anne from Hampton. We laughed a little at the coincidence and wondered what were the odds but then the tarot cards threw another hand. That night we arrived at our chosen restaurant, Doyles overlooking the Quay ,which we had booked Day 1. Who should sit not 2 tables away an hour later but Steve and Anne . Now this was getting spooky . Again we exchanged pleasantries nervously eyeing each other and wondering who was stalking who!
Finally we arrived on day 4 to get our flight back to Melbourne and yes as you have guessed whom should be on the same flight as us but Steve and Anne .This time Steve gave us his phone number despite Grant saying to me keep your distance ,obviously fearing once again of the supernatural. As we sat down on the plane whom should sit in the seats behind but Steve and Anne who had booked in about 2 hours before us. I'm still waiting for them to materialise as we sit down one night for a meal although Sulky is no doubt worrying that it may be instead when I am out one night and he has gone to bed !!!!
The noises resembled the sounds of a cat burglar trying to enter the house first trying the roof and next the windows. My eldest and me spent a very restless night only finally falling asleep when we decided that the burglars had spent so long casing the joint that they must have decided there was nothing worth stealing.
Sulky of course was having none of it that is until he had to spend a weekend on his own whilst we were on the houseboat. Let's just say he now believed the noises were more of a supernatural variety thus explaining his reluctance to go out and see what the cause of the sounds were and instead spending the nights ' hiding under the duvets' yes we had indeed now got duvets since Sulky was back, and hoping for the speedy return of Mouldy whom he hoped would keep him safe at night .
The final solving of the case came 2 nights ago when hearing an almighty crash on the roof, both of us ventured outside with a flashlight only to discover a possum looking back with a "What's your problem expression on it's now not so cute face"
Despite the solving of this case it didn't stop the pair of us from being woken up last night with what sounded like an Evander Hollyfield and Mike Tyson rematch done with possums ,from going on above our bedroom roof only ending in a knockout by one as the now unconscious possum slid down our glass skylight and the other did a lap of victory at top speed across the roof !!!
Any of our visitors in the autumn should take heed of this blog before booking flights!
Case number =666. This case started very innocuously as we sat enjoying lunch on Hampton street a few weekends ago .I say enjoy but alas both kids were in hyper mode and they had brought wheels. Constant apologies were the order of the day until one elderly couple began to make conversation . It started with the introductions of this seemingly normal couple ,"Hi I'm Steve and this is my wife Anne". On discussing holidays they proceeded on giving us a long list of sites we should see in Queensland and nearby also mentioning a hotel we should look at in Cairns. It was only on finishing the conversation that we both realised we would be in Sydney the following Easter weekend . " Wouldn't it be funny if we bumped into each other " I remarked innocently ,not realising the eerie occurrences that were about to ensue.
So after arriving in Sydney day 2 we decided to visit Manly Beach by ferry from the Circular Quay. It was packed but by some strange coincidence whom should we see on the way back but the same Steve and Anne from Hampton. We laughed a little at the coincidence and wondered what were the odds but then the tarot cards threw another hand. That night we arrived at our chosen restaurant, Doyles overlooking the Quay ,which we had booked Day 1. Who should sit not 2 tables away an hour later but Steve and Anne . Now this was getting spooky . Again we exchanged pleasantries nervously eyeing each other and wondering who was stalking who!
Finally we arrived on day 4 to get our flight back to Melbourne and yes as you have guessed whom should be on the same flight as us but Steve and Anne .This time Steve gave us his phone number despite Grant saying to me keep your distance ,obviously fearing once again of the supernatural. As we sat down on the plane whom should sit in the seats behind but Steve and Anne who had booked in about 2 hours before us. I'm still waiting for them to materialise as we sit down one night for a meal although Sulky is no doubt worrying that it may be instead when I am out one night and he has gone to bed !!!!
Wednesday, 15 April 2009
The Long Weekend
For anyone getting worried recently by the mock Gothic style that's appeared, I'm back to provide sanity to the blog.
We've just come back from a long weekend, taking in Sydney and the Blue Mountains. Having had 3 days in Sydney I think pretty much everything in my previous blog about Sydney was pretty accurate. Only thing to add is that it is almost impossible to get a decent cup of coffee there. They may think they do coffee, but then the Americans think that as well.
We actually spent most of our time in Manly, perferring it to the rather more obvious and in yer face delights of Central Sydney.
If you're beginning to think I didn't enjoy my time, Sydney gave us access to the Blue Mountains and we drove up there for the day in a hire car. Somebody at AVIS must be reading my blog, because instead of another 3.5l monster car, I got a 2 door Hyundai thing. Still it had a manual gearbox.
Sharon was hopelssly underwhelmed by the sights in Sydney, probably from an over saturation of iconic photos over the years, and me gibbering about the bay view. I got my own back in the Blue Mountains though, acheiving the impossible, and rendering her speechless with her first view over the Blue Mountains from Katoomba.
Unfortunately, regarding the view, I'm rendered pretty speechless as well. We took photos and I can describe what I saw, but I just don't think I can do justice to the experience.
Katoomba was good although clearly touristy, with everyone wanting photos of the 3 Sisters and goes on the cable cars or Mountain Railway. I'd forgotten about this, the worlds steepest incline passenger railway, which takes you from the plateau to the forest floor. You climb into seats on a mini railway type set up at a reasonable incline and then the cable lets it run. Just after leaving the platform you drop over the edge and start running down a pretty steep slope. Sharon is a bit stressed at this point, and I joke about "wait 'til we get to the steep bit". Unfortuantely 3 seconds later we did, and you think you're about to tip over its so steep. All the time going down I've got this Indian behind me with the most charictured accent reciting endlessy "Holy Shit, Holy Shit".
We wandered on from Katoomba to Blackheath and Govett's leap. This was like Katoomba but with even greater views and with no cable cars no tourists. Huge ampitheatres with 300foot vertical cliffs to the valley floor with waterfalls tumbling over the tops and freefalling until they hit the forest 300 feet below. The falls would have been truly spectacular, but this is Australia at the end of the summer!
There was some mad path desperately clinging to the rock face that helter skeltered down to the valley. We went as far as a lookout, and although the rest of the family wanted to continue, self preservation and vertigo got the better of me.
Managed to work on International relations on the way back to Sydney. We got stuck in a traffic jam for 1.5 hours and the guys next to us start complaining that they lived 5 hours north and they got nothing like this. The scale of the Country got the better of me, and I replied with "I'm from Melbourne, and we don't get this either, New South Wales is shit isn't it". At which point they reminded me that 5 hours North was still NSW!!
Now back in Melbourne, and as the coffee kicks in I can't sleep!!
We've just come back from a long weekend, taking in Sydney and the Blue Mountains. Having had 3 days in Sydney I think pretty much everything in my previous blog about Sydney was pretty accurate. Only thing to add is that it is almost impossible to get a decent cup of coffee there. They may think they do coffee, but then the Americans think that as well.
We actually spent most of our time in Manly, perferring it to the rather more obvious and in yer face delights of Central Sydney.
If you're beginning to think I didn't enjoy my time, Sydney gave us access to the Blue Mountains and we drove up there for the day in a hire car. Somebody at AVIS must be reading my blog, because instead of another 3.5l monster car, I got a 2 door Hyundai thing. Still it had a manual gearbox.
Sharon was hopelssly underwhelmed by the sights in Sydney, probably from an over saturation of iconic photos over the years, and me gibbering about the bay view. I got my own back in the Blue Mountains though, acheiving the impossible, and rendering her speechless with her first view over the Blue Mountains from Katoomba.
Unfortunately, regarding the view, I'm rendered pretty speechless as well. We took photos and I can describe what I saw, but I just don't think I can do justice to the experience.
Katoomba was good although clearly touristy, with everyone wanting photos of the 3 Sisters and goes on the cable cars or Mountain Railway. I'd forgotten about this, the worlds steepest incline passenger railway, which takes you from the plateau to the forest floor. You climb into seats on a mini railway type set up at a reasonable incline and then the cable lets it run. Just after leaving the platform you drop over the edge and start running down a pretty steep slope. Sharon is a bit stressed at this point, and I joke about "wait 'til we get to the steep bit". Unfortuantely 3 seconds later we did, and you think you're about to tip over its so steep. All the time going down I've got this Indian behind me with the most charictured accent reciting endlessy "Holy Shit, Holy Shit".
We wandered on from Katoomba to Blackheath and Govett's leap. This was like Katoomba but with even greater views and with no cable cars no tourists. Huge ampitheatres with 300foot vertical cliffs to the valley floor with waterfalls tumbling over the tops and freefalling until they hit the forest 300 feet below. The falls would have been truly spectacular, but this is Australia at the end of the summer!
There was some mad path desperately clinging to the rock face that helter skeltered down to the valley. We went as far as a lookout, and although the rest of the family wanted to continue, self preservation and vertigo got the better of me.
Managed to work on International relations on the way back to Sydney. We got stuck in a traffic jam for 1.5 hours and the guys next to us start complaining that they lived 5 hours north and they got nothing like this. The scale of the Country got the better of me, and I replied with "I'm from Melbourne, and we don't get this either, New South Wales is shit isn't it". At which point they reminded me that 5 hours North was still NSW!!
Now back in Melbourne, and as the coffee kicks in I can't sleep!!
Tuesday, 14 April 2009
Whether the weather be hot
I thought I would jot down a few of my musings on Melbourne weather .
What has made me decide to do this? Well it could be the seriously scary wind that woke us all up this morning. Grant's alarm had just gone off and we were lightly snoozing away when the gale force 9 wind struck. Suddenly it was as if we had been transported into a wind tunnel. What the hell is that I asked? only to be answered by my 10 year old who had come into the room to say " I think it's a willy willy". "A what?!", I answered somewhat taken aback. You know a willy willy. Feeling a little lost at this point I turned to Grant to see if he had any idea what the child was going on about. I was then told that Australia suffers from typhoons which are given this somewhat bizarre name, although usually confined to the North.
Now I could have called the blog some amusing connotations with this, but when discussing it with Caitlin, whilst walking home from shops with Maurice (you should all know who he is by now) she again suprised me with "you can't call it that people will think you have had a gender change!!!" Where is she picking all of this up from? Returning quickly to the point, we are actually experiencing an Indian Summer at the moment in Melbourne. That to you Brits is a full on glorious sunshine most of the time and hitting high 20's and even occasional 30's. Not the usual British Indian Summer which normally means a little late sunshine that is trying to make up for the continous rain we have had in August, or more usually the whole of the school holidays. As this is first ever Victorian autumn I have experienced I am starting to wonder if it ever gets cold here!
However we have seen some rain: suffice to say it's big stuff normally. The rain droplets are sort of goldfish bowl sized, so when you step outdoors you kinda get drenched in 3 seconds flat and of course all our waterproofs are packed in the container and are probably now being worn by the same Somali pirates I mentioned in previous blogs, all laughing at each other and wondering who is the best cross dresser - Sort of wondering why I never thought to pack em really .
On a final note Grant has just informed me that they actually closed a road on his bike route to work this morning as the wind had caused structural damage to some shop fronts so maybe we did experience that Willy Willy after all!!
What has made me decide to do this? Well it could be the seriously scary wind that woke us all up this morning. Grant's alarm had just gone off and we were lightly snoozing away when the gale force 9 wind struck. Suddenly it was as if we had been transported into a wind tunnel. What the hell is that I asked? only to be answered by my 10 year old who had come into the room to say " I think it's a willy willy". "A what?!", I answered somewhat taken aback. You know a willy willy. Feeling a little lost at this point I turned to Grant to see if he had any idea what the child was going on about. I was then told that Australia suffers from typhoons which are given this somewhat bizarre name, although usually confined to the North.
Now I could have called the blog some amusing connotations with this, but when discussing it with Caitlin, whilst walking home from shops with Maurice (you should all know who he is by now) she again suprised me with "you can't call it that people will think you have had a gender change!!!" Where is she picking all of this up from? Returning quickly to the point, we are actually experiencing an Indian Summer at the moment in Melbourne. That to you Brits is a full on glorious sunshine most of the time and hitting high 20's and even occasional 30's. Not the usual British Indian Summer which normally means a little late sunshine that is trying to make up for the continous rain we have had in August, or more usually the whole of the school holidays. As this is first ever Victorian autumn I have experienced I am starting to wonder if it ever gets cold here!
However we have seen some rain: suffice to say it's big stuff normally. The rain droplets are sort of goldfish bowl sized, so when you step outdoors you kinda get drenched in 3 seconds flat and of course all our waterproofs are packed in the container and are probably now being worn by the same Somali pirates I mentioned in previous blogs, all laughing at each other and wondering who is the best cross dresser - Sort of wondering why I never thought to pack em really .
On a final note Grant has just informed me that they actually closed a road on his bike route to work this morning as the wind had caused structural damage to some shop fronts so maybe we did experience that Willy Willy after all!!
Wednesday, 8 April 2009
Chapter 4 -bush tucker trials
Our Heroine now is persuaded by The Bes to attempt an arduous and physically demanding feat-the Bush Walk. Attended by a string of small urchins the physically and now mentally strong YOUNG lady pulls not only herself but all the young ones through thistles and overgrown gum roots in an attempt to witness Bush sights . Beautiful Eucalyptus bark in three colours visible on the trunks of the 50-100 year old trees line her path and she hears her first Kookaburra . However after 40 minutes arduous walking and a near death episode with a suckler cow and calf the small group head back for Steamboat Willy ready for a high speed adventure on the small outboard motor boat owned by the Archard family.
On the high speed ride the lady witnesses many birds many of whom she cant recall but enjoyed seeing anyway .
Finally on the last morning of the holiday our fine but now thoroughly dirty and bedraggled mother smelling of bonfires samples her first Damper .A traditional Aussie speciality -flour//sugar/milk/water mixed into a dough and then rolled into balls and placed on the end of sticks .After placing these on hot coals to cook they are removed from the stick charcoal black and butter and jam placed in the hole made by the stick .Not a recipe our heroine has ever witnessed in her large collection of Delia and Nigella recipes but no less lovely for it .
So after a wonderful holiday our family pack up and begrudgingly return to Melbourne thanking their hosts for a holiday they will never forget!!
The author would like to point out at this point that all characters and events are true but the order of events may have been slightly altered for artistic licence as was the quantity of alcohol consumed and the lack of care of children may have been grossly exaggerated if the NSPCC are reading this.
On the high speed ride the lady witnesses many birds many of whom she cant recall but enjoyed seeing anyway .
Finally on the last morning of the holiday our fine but now thoroughly dirty and bedraggled mother smelling of bonfires samples her first Damper .A traditional Aussie speciality -flour//sugar/milk/water mixed into a dough and then rolled into balls and placed on the end of sticks .After placing these on hot coals to cook they are removed from the stick charcoal black and butter and jam placed in the hole made by the stick .Not a recipe our heroine has ever witnessed in her large collection of Delia and Nigella recipes but no less lovely for it .
So after a wonderful holiday our family pack up and begrudgingly return to Melbourne thanking their hosts for a holiday they will never forget!!
The author would like to point out at this point that all characters and events are true but the order of events may have been slightly altered for artistic licence as was the quantity of alcohol consumed and the lack of care of children may have been grossly exaggerated if the NSPCC are reading this.
link to photo album http://www.flickr.com/photos/36445314@N08/
Tuesday, 7 April 2009
Chapter 3- The final solution
When we last left our devoted mother she was busy soaking up the sunshine on top deck ,G and T in one hand ,pest repellent cream in t'other whilst her brood continued their descent into peril!
This time the danger involved a 12 foot fishing line accompanying a rather sharp nasty fish hook and the back of the boat with an unfenced area . A disaster waiting to happen I hear you cry .
Well yes when the mother looked back on it the dangers were fairly obvious even to a squiffy,somewhat shaken , English refugee. However we digress ,at this point in our story the mother was awoken from her now complete intoxication by the cries no mother ever wants to hear " One of the kids has gone over and she's lost my best fishing rod"
At this something in the mother's unconsciousness finally surfaced and with great haste well as much haste as she could muster in the sweltering heat and her own stupor , she swayed to the edge and beheld her eldest in the murky river desperately trying to pull up the rod with head submerged. But fear not as help was at hand in the much trusted Bes ,who at great risk to personal safety jumped in and repeatedly dived to the bottom in search of the rod whilst the now bedraggled child pulled herself from the water's waiting depths and exhausted lay on the deck.
" Do you need a hand " was heard from the upper decks but alas the family heirloom was lost forever .
Despite these initial calamities the fishing continued with renewed vigour and once again our sozzled heroine was pulled to the action with cries of" We've caught a fish ,Help we can't get it in ,We've caught a fish " And sure enough ,accompanied by great screams from the kids and gasps of "Oh my god ,they have caught a fish" from our heroine ,there on the end of the line was a wriggling something as none of the gathered throng had the slightest notion what sort of a fish it was despite there being at least 1 book ,2 vets and a fish identifying ruler present .
" We'll have that for lunch " was all the Bes could muster on her quandary .
A few short screams later a second fish was landed which was an even bigger version of the first and the sharp fins on it this time cut the hands of all who held the beast ." Now we've got 2 of those somethings for lunch" shouted The Bes .
As the evening slowly settled in ,and a beautiful one it was at that ,our adventurers once more gathered on land ,this time to seek out firewood for a large fire, the toasting of marshmallows and regalling of vivid ghost stories .
The night sky darkened and all the families gathered around the dancing flames to partake of the feast only to hear the youngest of our mother's family shout," Mine's on fire ,mine's on fire do something Caitlin!!" Still as the night wore on even the aforementioned youngest became proficient at dropping flaming marshmallows on the forest floor whilst poking a blackened stick in her mother's face and say eat this one i made it just for you.
The now braver mother proceeded to get her own back though telling grisly true horror stories of couples killed by nutters in the forest putting their heads on sticks ,just like she had been told when young to help her get to sleep . However this long family tradition resulted in much sobbing by the gathered children and a please don't tell any more stories like that as the other adults pulled the crazed mother from the fire in an attempt to stop her from terrorising the youngsters .Well maybe 4 years old was too young to hear such stories of blood and gore.
And so our once again sozzled mother was placed in bed in the hope that a good night's sleep would return her to her usual excellent senses.
On waking the next morning however the madness continued with an early morning swim by the agile lady whilst everyone watched in awe at her attempts to swim up river in the opposite direction to the current whilst in fact not moving more than 3 cm .Her exercise for the day thus done she was greeted with yet another G and T or was it a cosmopolitan -the story gets somewhat hazy at this point but suffice to say alcohol was once again consumed , as she emerged onto deck . Twas whilst she was drying herself off that she noticed what initially looked like a large cat leaving the riverbank further down .It was only due to it's large tail and jumping movements that she realised she had indeed forgotten her glasses and it was a kangaroo that had come down to the river to drink!
So we will leave our central character at this point ,with drink once again in hand ,happy at the thought that she had finally seen a kangaroo in Oz and waiting to be taken on a fast ride up river on a boat but that is yet to come.............
This time the danger involved a 12 foot fishing line accompanying a rather sharp nasty fish hook and the back of the boat with an unfenced area . A disaster waiting to happen I hear you cry .
Well yes when the mother looked back on it the dangers were fairly obvious even to a squiffy,somewhat shaken , English refugee. However we digress ,at this point in our story the mother was awoken from her now complete intoxication by the cries no mother ever wants to hear " One of the kids has gone over and she's lost my best fishing rod"
At this something in the mother's unconsciousness finally surfaced and with great haste well as much haste as she could muster in the sweltering heat and her own stupor , she swayed to the edge and beheld her eldest in the murky river desperately trying to pull up the rod with head submerged. But fear not as help was at hand in the much trusted Bes ,who at great risk to personal safety jumped in and repeatedly dived to the bottom in search of the rod whilst the now bedraggled child pulled herself from the water's waiting depths and exhausted lay on the deck.
" Do you need a hand " was heard from the upper decks but alas the family heirloom was lost forever .
Despite these initial calamities the fishing continued with renewed vigour and once again our sozzled heroine was pulled to the action with cries of" We've caught a fish ,Help we can't get it in ,We've caught a fish " And sure enough ,accompanied by great screams from the kids and gasps of "Oh my god ,they have caught a fish" from our heroine ,there on the end of the line was a wriggling something as none of the gathered throng had the slightest notion what sort of a fish it was despite there being at least 1 book ,2 vets and a fish identifying ruler present .
" We'll have that for lunch " was all the Bes could muster on her quandary .
A few short screams later a second fish was landed which was an even bigger version of the first and the sharp fins on it this time cut the hands of all who held the beast ." Now we've got 2 of those somethings for lunch" shouted The Bes .
As the evening slowly settled in ,and a beautiful one it was at that ,our adventurers once more gathered on land ,this time to seek out firewood for a large fire, the toasting of marshmallows and regalling of vivid ghost stories .
The night sky darkened and all the families gathered around the dancing flames to partake of the feast only to hear the youngest of our mother's family shout," Mine's on fire ,mine's on fire do something Caitlin!!" Still as the night wore on even the aforementioned youngest became proficient at dropping flaming marshmallows on the forest floor whilst poking a blackened stick in her mother's face and say eat this one i made it just for you.
The now braver mother proceeded to get her own back though telling grisly true horror stories of couples killed by nutters in the forest putting their heads on sticks ,just like she had been told when young to help her get to sleep . However this long family tradition resulted in much sobbing by the gathered children and a please don't tell any more stories like that as the other adults pulled the crazed mother from the fire in an attempt to stop her from terrorising the youngsters .Well maybe 4 years old was too young to hear such stories of blood and gore.
And so our once again sozzled mother was placed in bed in the hope that a good night's sleep would return her to her usual excellent senses.
On waking the next morning however the madness continued with an early morning swim by the agile lady whilst everyone watched in awe at her attempts to swim up river in the opposite direction to the current whilst in fact not moving more than 3 cm .Her exercise for the day thus done she was greeted with yet another G and T or was it a cosmopolitan -the story gets somewhat hazy at this point but suffice to say alcohol was once again consumed , as she emerged onto deck . Twas whilst she was drying herself off that she noticed what initially looked like a large cat leaving the riverbank further down .It was only due to it's large tail and jumping movements that she realised she had indeed forgotten her glasses and it was a kangaroo that had come down to the river to drink!
So we will leave our central character at this point ,with drink once again in hand ,happy at the thought that she had finally seen a kangaroo in Oz and waiting to be taken on a fast ride up river on a boat but that is yet to come.............
Chapter 2 -The adventure begins
We find our heroine the next morning a little worse for wear after staying up til the early hours with the matriarch of the family ,formally known as The Bes, retelling stories of old, in former times in the cold harsh city of Edinburgh where they spent many a night seeking out pubs that would sell alcohol til morning.
During that eve they also laid traps and screamed ,well mostly The Bes , as they tried in vain to catch one of the family mice that had escaped 3 weeks ago and gone feral ,but returned when it smelled newly arrived English blood!
With the morning newly arrived and we mean quite literally minutes after sunrise, or so it felt ,the house awoke and started preparations for the quasi oz camping /boathouse experience. It took a fair amount of time to feed the menagerie which consisted of 5 mice,2 dogs,1 horse,4 ponies,4 chucks.1 rabbit ,2 fish of unknown origin and one Vietnamese fighting fish which lived in a wine glass on the side of the kitchen counter. " Surely that's cruel " our tender hearted mother asked of the Large animal vet friend , " No they don't do much but lie on their side anyway "replied The Bes ,"And I only acquired it cos my friend got bored with it"
As the morning wore on more and more equipment appeared and was squeezed into the over burdened vehicles ;3 very complicated looking fishing rods with accompanying tackle box, a billy ( or to the unaussie amongst us a tin which u boil water in),sleeping bags, more food then you would need to feed a city, more alcohol than you would need to fill an ocean,(o.k maybe our heroine at this point was getting a little carried away but artistic licence and all that ) and finally a huge motor boat that could be used for carrying away evidence . The group of then 6 bright eyed children were pushed into the car with a last cry of " Do you think we need the anti venom"from the Bes, sending our brave mother into the car in a deep swoon from shock or to get away from the myriad of sucking,biting,screaming and kicking flies that were now attacking her white softly dappled flesh and i kid you not!
A short while later the adventurers emerged from the bush to find themselves driving along the bank of the Might yet murky but still pretty awesome Murray river . Their large houseboat bobbed tranquilly ( for a time anyway) along the shores nestled amongst the Gum trees and looking pristine ( for a time anyway ) .
They quietly emerged from the car and carefully navigated their way down to the boat well at least the adults in the party did whilst our now gone native children screamed and ran creating a dust bowl in their wake in their eagerness to explore and probably bag the best bedroom on the vessel.
What a beautiful sight met their eyes .An oven,fridge ,hot shower ,table and chairs .a sofa ,more luxury then the Melbournian set had been used to in their bare rental !! Even a deck on which to sunbathe and partake of glorious sunsets (hopefully not sunrises) as they drank down their G and T's.What more could they ask for.
A skipper turned up an hour later to drive their boat down the treacherous river as the current and high sandbanks made steering a course in this part of the season a skilled process. " Nah you don't need to worry too much about the snakes in this season although you do get em in the water and we do have 3 of the deadliest snakes in the world in this spot. Yeah we have a few people die on the river round here regularly from jumping in or being sucked down by the current forming whirlpools that even a grown man cant swim out of " were just some of the cheery lines The Captain told the now very pale mother as she clutched her G and T tightly in her shaking hands ." We'll put her in this spot so you can have a big fire and the kids can play on the sandbank " . After showing the elder members of the crew how the various parts of the boat worked, like the generator and life jacket storage area, the salty sea Captain then turned to show the workings of the toilet only to interrupt our now shaky mother during mid seating, abruptly apologising at our shocked mother's face as she reached for the door realising the lock was indeed broken and would remain so for the whole of the stay.
With a final reminder to throw back the fish unless they are 1/2 metre long our Captain disembarked leaving the families to pick up what was left of the mother off the bathroom floor and wedge her into a camping seat to admire the very fine view .
The children in the meantime had found the delights of swimming in the river wearing life jackets and wading through what to all intent purposes looked like Quicksand and with nearly the same properties. The mother instead enjoyed the delights of not having to tell the children to stop bickering and watching the amazing colourful bird life such as Gelars ,grey parrots with beautiful pink breasts flying in flocks over the Gum trees.Little did she know what was waiting in store for her.................
During that eve they also laid traps and screamed ,well mostly The Bes , as they tried in vain to catch one of the family mice that had escaped 3 weeks ago and gone feral ,but returned when it smelled newly arrived English blood!
With the morning newly arrived and we mean quite literally minutes after sunrise, or so it felt ,the house awoke and started preparations for the quasi oz camping /boathouse experience. It took a fair amount of time to feed the menagerie which consisted of 5 mice,2 dogs,1 horse,4 ponies,4 chucks.1 rabbit ,2 fish of unknown origin and one Vietnamese fighting fish which lived in a wine glass on the side of the kitchen counter. " Surely that's cruel " our tender hearted mother asked of the Large animal vet friend , " No they don't do much but lie on their side anyway "replied The Bes ,"And I only acquired it cos my friend got bored with it"
As the morning wore on more and more equipment appeared and was squeezed into the over burdened vehicles ;3 very complicated looking fishing rods with accompanying tackle box, a billy ( or to the unaussie amongst us a tin which u boil water in),sleeping bags, more food then you would need to feed a city, more alcohol than you would need to fill an ocean,(o.k maybe our heroine at this point was getting a little carried away but artistic licence and all that ) and finally a huge motor boat that could be used for carrying away evidence . The group of then 6 bright eyed children were pushed into the car with a last cry of " Do you think we need the anti venom"from the Bes, sending our brave mother into the car in a deep swoon from shock or to get away from the myriad of sucking,biting,screaming and kicking flies that were now attacking her white softly dappled flesh and i kid you not!
A short while later the adventurers emerged from the bush to find themselves driving along the bank of the Might yet murky but still pretty awesome Murray river . Their large houseboat bobbed tranquilly ( for a time anyway) along the shores nestled amongst the Gum trees and looking pristine ( for a time anyway ) .
They quietly emerged from the car and carefully navigated their way down to the boat well at least the adults in the party did whilst our now gone native children screamed and ran creating a dust bowl in their wake in their eagerness to explore and probably bag the best bedroom on the vessel.
What a beautiful sight met their eyes .An oven,fridge ,hot shower ,table and chairs .a sofa ,more luxury then the Melbournian set had been used to in their bare rental !! Even a deck on which to sunbathe and partake of glorious sunsets (hopefully not sunrises) as they drank down their G and T's.What more could they ask for.
A skipper turned up an hour later to drive their boat down the treacherous river as the current and high sandbanks made steering a course in this part of the season a skilled process. " Nah you don't need to worry too much about the snakes in this season although you do get em in the water and we do have 3 of the deadliest snakes in the world in this spot. Yeah we have a few people die on the river round here regularly from jumping in or being sucked down by the current forming whirlpools that even a grown man cant swim out of " were just some of the cheery lines The Captain told the now very pale mother as she clutched her G and T tightly in her shaking hands ." We'll put her in this spot so you can have a big fire and the kids can play on the sandbank " . After showing the elder members of the crew how the various parts of the boat worked, like the generator and life jacket storage area, the salty sea Captain then turned to show the workings of the toilet only to interrupt our now shaky mother during mid seating, abruptly apologising at our shocked mother's face as she reached for the door realising the lock was indeed broken and would remain so for the whole of the stay.
With a final reminder to throw back the fish unless they are 1/2 metre long our Captain disembarked leaving the families to pick up what was left of the mother off the bathroom floor and wedge her into a camping seat to admire the very fine view .
The children in the meantime had found the delights of swimming in the river wearing life jackets and wading through what to all intent purposes looked like Quicksand and with nearly the same properties. The mother instead enjoyed the delights of not having to tell the children to stop bickering and watching the amazing colourful bird life such as Gelars ,grey parrots with beautiful pink breasts flying in flocks over the Gum trees.Little did she know what was waiting in store for her.................
The Adventures of Steamboat Willy and How I wrestled a cod and lived to tell the tail.
Twas a dark cold Melbournian evening when the keen but trepidacious mother boarded the V-line train, bustling her hysterical children in front of her. Cries of " But will the spiders bite me or will the snakes chase me, what about my swimming pool" were heard as the strange trio struggled to find the right carriage, their over-confident father turfing out innocent old ladies from seats he believed were his beloved family's' before realising each car had the same numbers . Only one very frail geriatric was hurt in the skirmishes, but finally the group were seated and the father tearfully waved them off ,not before writing clean me on the train window bringing in on instant reprimand from the overbearing but motherly conductor. Whilst most men would have broken down after the firm words from this authoritarian , the father proceeded to do the crab dance he had seen performed the previous night at a comedy festival . This was strange behaviour from an otherwise sombre gentleman which brought squeals of delight from his happy children and a resigned "Oh he's glad we're leaving "thought to the beautiful but sad mother.
The train pulled begrudgingly out of the station and each member of the party settled down to a chosen activity,the eldest of the girls producing a 6000 page novel from her bag and reading 3/4 of it in the space of 10 minutes ,the mother closing her eyes and trying not think about her last meal which threatened to come up and say hello and the youngest whose cries of" Can I go to the toilet now," could be heard up and down the train.
Nearly 4 hours later and in the pitch dark the Clan arrived to be greeted by the cheerful family Archard who were to welcome them into their midst that weekend.
A car journey ensued which included a run into the bush to see if any of the car inhabitants could spot animal life of the jumping variety but alas all the Roos had heard of their arrival and took the first boat out of town .
The young and frankly quite dazzling mother herded her now super hyped kids into the farm kitchen ducking the swarms of what she believed to be midges nestling busily on the ceiling with thoughts of "Oh My God I'm gonna be eaten alive "springing to her agile mind.
"Ahh don't worry about them they don't bite wait til you see the tiger snakes and huntsman spiders" came the response from John, head of the family, which he gave with a wry grin. What had they in store for the family ............
The train pulled begrudgingly out of the station and each member of the party settled down to a chosen activity,the eldest of the girls producing a 6000 page novel from her bag and reading 3/4 of it in the space of 10 minutes ,the mother closing her eyes and trying not think about her last meal which threatened to come up and say hello and the youngest whose cries of" Can I go to the toilet now," could be heard up and down the train.
Nearly 4 hours later and in the pitch dark the Clan arrived to be greeted by the cheerful family Archard who were to welcome them into their midst that weekend.
A car journey ensued which included a run into the bush to see if any of the car inhabitants could spot animal life of the jumping variety but alas all the Roos had heard of their arrival and took the first boat out of town .
The young and frankly quite dazzling mother herded her now super hyped kids into the farm kitchen ducking the swarms of what she believed to be midges nestling busily on the ceiling with thoughts of "Oh My God I'm gonna be eaten alive "springing to her agile mind.
"Ahh don't worry about them they don't bite wait til you see the tiger snakes and huntsman spiders" came the response from John, head of the family, which he gave with a wry grin. What had they in store for the family ............
Sunday, 5 April 2009
Night to myself
Start of the Easter holidays and Sharon and the girls have naffed off to a house boat on the mighty Murray River for 4 days with friends. Turns out the boat won't be moving much due to the water level - how the mighty have fallen.
Other than a lie in, brunch in a local cafe reading the paper, and one to many Long Blacks, I take Sharon's advice and go and see "Knowing" at the local cinema.
Palace Cinemas seems to be one of 3-4 in a non-major mini cinema kind of chain. Seats are big and comfy and properly tiered: none of this Odeon rubbish staring between the heads of the 2-3 rows in front of you. Even turned out to be licensed! Watching your favourite film while supping a cold stubbie of VB. If it wasn't so oxymoronic I'd say "how civilsed is that". The one fly in the ointment, although it brought a grin to my face, was the first 5 minutes after the lights went down. The gold lamee curtains role back and a quaint little scene welcoming us to the cinema is shown. In the meantime we get some very (and I mean pre Pearl and Dean) old fashioned music playing - I was almost expecting a guy playing the organ to rise out of the floor.
As for the film: if you've had a religious upbringing or are scared of flying don't bother.
Other than a lie in, brunch in a local cafe reading the paper, and one to many Long Blacks, I take Sharon's advice and go and see "Knowing" at the local cinema.
Palace Cinemas seems to be one of 3-4 in a non-major mini cinema kind of chain. Seats are big and comfy and properly tiered: none of this Odeon rubbish staring between the heads of the 2-3 rows in front of you. Even turned out to be licensed! Watching your favourite film while supping a cold stubbie of VB. If it wasn't so oxymoronic I'd say "how civilsed is that". The one fly in the ointment, although it brought a grin to my face, was the first 5 minutes after the lights went down. The gold lamee curtains role back and a quaint little scene welcoming us to the cinema is shown. In the meantime we get some very (and I mean pre Pearl and Dean) old fashioned music playing - I was almost expecting a guy playing the organ to rise out of the floor.
As for the film: if you've had a religious upbringing or are scared of flying don't bother.
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